The Self-Image Wardrobe

We’ve all been there.  Or at least many of us have.  We stand in front of a wardrobe full of clothes but can’t find a single thing to wear.

Our immediate thought might be to head to the shops to buy more “stuff,” but this just compounds the problem. We are adding more clothes to an already-packed closet without any thought or planning.

But what if there was a simple, four-step method of creating a wardrobe you love?  A wardrobe that is a pleasure to open (or step into) every day.  A wardrobe where you know you’ll find the perfect outfit for every occasion.  An outfit that suits your lifestyle, goals, vision, and most importantly, an outfit that suits YOU.

Read on if you’re ready to dress purposefully and meet your confident self-image.

1. Define

Before anything else, I recommend defining your lifestyle, personal and professional goals, vision, and aspirations.  Get absolutely clear on who you are now, who you are becoming, and what you want your style to communicate.

Like it or not, you are being judged on what you wear.  It is naïve to think your talent, skills, kindness, and knowledge are all that matter.  The reality is, before you even speak a word, your image and presentation have already made the introduction.

Your appearance is what others first notice about you, so it’s important to understand what you wear has a huge impact on how you are perceived.  Is it fair?  No, but it happens.

Image matters.

Clothing is not superficial or shallow.  Taking the time to dress well,

• Influences your self-image.
• Helps establish your identity.
• Promotes confidence.

You are constantly sending silent messages, so get clear on the message you want to make.

Know your Self-Image

Your self-image is a collection of thoughts you have about yourself.  Your thoughts create your entire life, so make sure those thoughts support your future self.  Dress accordingly.

Remember, before you get the opportunity to speak, how you present yourself – which includes what you wear – will speak for you.  Make sure your clothes say what you want them to.

Gain Clarity

• Have a clear vision of your future self.
• Be the woman who already has what you want.  How does she dress?  How does she think?  How does she communicate and present herself?
• Why is upgrading your wardrobe important? 

Two of the most powerful words you can ever say to yourself are, “I am.”  Use “I am” statements to help you clarify how you want to dress and show up in the world.

I am a woman who,

• Buys and keeps clothes that add value to my life.
• Wears clothes that make me feel confident.
• Knows what she wants.
• Finishes what she starts.
• Has a life worth waking up for.
• Is kind.
• Dresses with intent and purpose.
• Attracts abundance.
• Buys quality over quantity.
  

Seek Knowledge

Knowledge is power.  If you understand what you want, who you are, and how you want to present, you will be “on brand” every single time.

• Know your overarching purpose and intent.
• Know what colours suit you.
• Know what clothes are consistent with your lifestyle, values, personal style, and brand.
• Know what clothes complement all of you, not just your body.
  

Create Style Formulas

Creating a style formula or two is a simple way to ensure you always look and feel your best and present your desired self-image to the world.

Many famous and influential women have a style formula or uniform.  They understand the power of projecting a consistent brand and self-image.

• Michelle Obama wears wide-leg trousers, heels, and a fitted jacket.
• Queen Mary of Denmark wears either straight leg-trousers or a skirt, with a simple blouse, fitted jacket, and small elegant jewellery.  She also prefers simple, elegant dresses.
• Queen Letizia of Greece wears classic suits with tapered trousers or a skirt, heels, and a simple blouse with or without a jacket.

Michelle Obama

Queen Mary of Denmark

Queen Letizia of Greece

My style formulas are,

• Wide -leg trousers, a simple top or t-shirt, flats, and a cardigan or lady jacket if required.
• Pleated knee-length skirt, a top or t-shirt, heels, and cardigan or lady jacket if required.  I simply swap the trousers for a skirt and add a higher heel.
• Wide-leg jeans, a top / t-shirt, flats, and jacket for the weekends.
  
  

Style formulas – or uniforms – are not dull or restrictive.  Indeed, they are the exact opposite.  They will help you create and project a self-image and brand that is consistent, reliable, on-point, and truly representative of who you are.

2. Edit

The “Edit” is when we step into our wardrobes and apply the lessons we learned from “Define.”

This step is not always easy.

The purpose of “Edit” is not to throw away as many clothes as possible.  The purpose is to take what we have learned and step forward into our desired self-image.  The purpose is to eliminate the mediocre and create a way for the great.

Editing can be painful and will involve trade-offs.  When we look at an item, we often think of the money we spent to acquire it and are, therefore, hesitant to let it go.  The reality is the money is already spent.  It’s gone.  We need to get over our fear of waste and let it go.

Sunk Cost Bias is the tendency to keep investing time, money, or energy into something we know is a losing proposition.  You already know if you will wear a particular item of clothing again or if it will wallow in the back of your closet, never to see the light of day again.  If so, I encourage you to remove it from your wardrobe.  Create space for something you will love, or leave the space empty.  That’s okay, too.

Less, but better.

Disciplined elimination is the process of removing anything distracting or unnecessary and revealing meaningful clothes that help you blossom.

First things first.  Remove anything that doesn’t belong in your wardrobe.  This includes all non-clothing items such as filing cabinets, photo albums, toys, and drawings your children did when they were five!  Find another home for them.

When you edit your wardrobe, try on every item of clothing, and ask the following questions,

• Does it fit?
• Are there holes that can’t be invisibly mended?
• Are there stains that can’t be removed?
• Are there missing buttons?  Will I take the time to sew them back on?
• Does it add value to my wardrobe and my life?
• Can it be worn with at least three other items in my wardrobe?
• Does it move me toward the woman I am becoming?
• Is it comfortable?
• Does it align with my personal style?
• Is it complementary to my skin tone and colouring?
• Is it complementary to my body, face, and whole being?

The best advice I can offer, is be honest with yourself.  There is no shame in getting rid of clothes that do not meet your new self-image or future expectations. 

Give yourself the grace to let things go.

3. Add

Now for the fun part.  The shopping.  Or, maybe shopping isn’t fun for you.  Perhaps you’ve felt overwhelmed when you’ve shopped before.

Remember that overwhelm is just a thought.  It’s who you might have been in the past, but it is not who you are in the future.  Step into your new self-image with confidence, and enjoy the process.

When you are ready to make purchases, here are some considerations,

• Pause before you spend.  Ask yourself is the item of clothing essential?
• Does it have a purpose?  Will it fit my lifestyle?
• Does it suit my colouring?
• Does it align with who I’m becoming?
• Can I pair it with at least three other items in my wardrobe?
• Does it complement all of me, not just my body?  Remember to analyse your overall appearance.

Refer to the questions in “Edit,” as these will also apply to purchasing new clothes.

Don’t be afraid to buy second hand on eBay, or from a charity shop.  Take your newfound knowledge and apply it anyway you can. 

I also recommend purchasing lovely wooden clothes hangers.  These can be purchased quite inexpensively from Kmart, Target, or Amazon, and will add a touch of elegance to your beautifully styled wardrobe.

4. Refine

“Refine” is all about adding to your wardrobe over time.

You may like to review your wardrobe at the beginning of each season and determine if any essential items are missing.

Or, if you’re like me, you might create a spreadsheet of potential items that you, when your budget allows, take the time to determine if they meet your strict criteria and are essential.

I have a “Splurge” bank account, where I set aside a certain amount of money from my monthly salary for additional purchases.  Sometimes, I won’t touch this account for months, and sometimes, it’s almost empty.

Please do not go into debt for clothes.  Set a budget and stick to it.  No one will care – or most likely even notice – if you repeatedly wear the same items.  And, if they do notice, what does it matter?  

Curating the perfect wardrobe will take time.  Be intentional about each item of clothing you allow into your wardrobe.  Review each item and determine if it really does have a place in your new wardrobe.  

Give yourself grace and don’t hurry the process.  Your style will evolve as you learn what suits you, what you look great in, and what feels fabulous. 

The journey may not always be easy, but it will be worth it.

If you love the sound of the Self-Image Wardrobe, but need help, please review the range of Services I offer.  Sessions can be in-person or virtual, and can be tailored to meet your specific requirements.

Fashions fade, style is eternal”

Yves Saint Laurent