October 4, 2026

By admin

0 Comments

LIKES

Choosing Well: The Difference Between Having Taste and Following Trends

In The Art of Noticing, we explored the idea that personal style begins with paying attention.

To the clothes we repeatedly wear.
The colours, shapes and textures we are naturally drawn to.
The rooms we want to linger in.
The objects we find beautiful.
The places that stay in our memory.

Noticing these things gives us clues about our taste.

But noticing is only the beginning.

Eventually, we have to choose.

And choosing becomes considerably more difficult when we live in a world constantly telling us what we should want.

Every season brings another colour, silhouette, handbag, shoe, interior aesthetic, or lifestyle trend we are encouraged to embrace.

Some will genuinely appeal to us.

Others won’t.

The challenge is learning to recognise the difference.

What Does It Mean to Have Taste?

Taste can sound like an intimidating word.

It can suggest rules about what is sophisticated or fashionable. What is considered elegant. What belongs in a beautiful home. What someone with “good taste” should wear, read, buy or appreciate.

But that isn’t how I think about taste.

Taste is personal. It is simply the ability to recognise what you like, and increasingly, to understand why you like it.

Someone with a strong sense of personal taste doesn’t necessarily own the most expensive things or have an encyclopaedic knowledge of fashion. She has simply developed a point of view.

She can look at something beautiful and appreciate it without assuming it belongs in her life.
She can see something fashionable and decide it isn’t for her.
And she can love something deeply even when nobody is telling her that she should.

That is where personal style begins to become distinctive.

Trends Are Not The Problem

Fashion trends can be wonderful.

They introduce us to new ideas, and encourage experimentation.

They bring forgotten colours, shapes and silhouettes back into view.

Sometimes a trend arrives and feels as though it was made for us.

There is nothing particularly intentional about rejecting something simply because it happens to be fashionable.

But there is equally nothing stylish about adopting something simply because it is.

The question isn’t, “Is this on trend?“

The more useful question is, “Would I still like this if nobody had told me it was fashionable?“

That question changes things, because trends are designed to create momentum.

Suddenly we see the same colour everywhere.

The same shoe.
The same jacket.
The same handbag.

At first it looks unusual, then interesting, and then desirable. And, before long, it can begin to feel essential.

But familiarity and desire are not always the same thing; sometimes we simply become accustomed to seeing something.

Admiration Doesn’t Require Ownership

This may be one of the most useful lessons we can learn, not only in fashion, but in life.

We are allowed to admire something without owning it.

I can appreciate a beautifully designed dress without wanting it in my wardrobe.
I can admire a dramatic interior without wanting to live in it.
I can appreciate another woman’s style without wanting to dress like her.
I can recognise the craftsmanship of a handbag without needing to buy it.

There is enormous freedom in this, because appreciation and acquisition have become strangely intertwined.

We see something beautiful and almost immediately ask,

“Where is it from?“
“How much is it?“
“Can I buy it?“

But perhaps there should be another moment in between; a moment simply to appreciate it, and then move on.

Not everything we love needs to become ours.

The Difference Between “I Love It” and “It’s Me”

There is another distinction worth making.

Something can be beautiful without being right for us.

We can love the idea of something far more than the reality of living with it.

Perhaps you adore romantic floral dresses but rarely feel comfortable wearing them.
Perhaps you love minimalist interiors but would find an entirely neutral home too austere.
Perhaps you admire very structured tailoring but feel more yourself in softer shapes.
Perhaps you love seeing bright colour on other women but consistently feel better in quieter tones.

None of these preferences is wrong.

The mistake comes when admiration is mistaken for identity.

This is particularly easy to do with clothes; we buy for the woman we imagine wearing the piece rather than the woman who actually has to get dressed on Tuesday morning.

The beautiful dress remains in the wardrobe, the dramatic shoes rarely leave their box, and the statement jacket waits patiently for the life we imagined having when we bought it.

Choosing well requires us to ask not only, “Do I love this?“

But, “Does this belong in my life?“

Taste Requires Discernment

As our taste develops, we often become more selective.

Not because we become harder to please, but because we become clearer. We begin to understand the difference between liking something and wanting to live with it.

That distinction matters enormously.

When we know ourselves, fewer decisions need to be made from scratch.

We know which colours work naturally within our wardrobe, we know which silhouettes we repeatedly enjoy wearing, we know whether we value comfort, structure, simplicity, drama, femininity, practicality or some particular combination of them.

We begin recognising our own patterns.

This doesn’t make style restrictive. Quite the opposite in fact; it gives us a foundation from which to experiment.

There is a difference between experimenting from curiosity and buying from confusion.

A Point of View Makes Choosing Easier

The sheer volume of choice available to us can be exhausting.

There are thousands of dresses.
Thousands of handbags.
Thousands of chairs.
Thousands of destinations.
Thousands of books.
Thousands of opinions about which of them we should choose.

More choice doesn’t necessarily make us more satisfied.

Sometimes it simply makes us less certain.

Developing personal taste provides a filter.

Instead of asking, “Which is the best?“

We can ask, “Which is right for me?“

Those are very different questions.

“Best” asks us to compare ourselves to an external standard.

“Right for me” asks us to pay attention to our own lives.

Let Your Life Be Part of the Decision

Good choices cannot be made on aesthetics alone.

Something can be beautiful and still be completely wrong for our life.

A wardrobe needs to accommodate the life we actually lead.
A home needs to work for the people who live in it.
A purchase needs to make sense within our financial priorities.

Even our aspirations need some relationship with reality.

This doesn’t mean choosing only practical things; beauty and pleasure matters. Sometimes something can justify its place simply because we find it extraordinarily beautiful.

But intentional choices acknowledge the whole picture.

“Do I love it?“
“Will I use it?“
“Does it work with what I already have?“
“Can I comfortably afford it?“
“Does it reflect what matters to me?“
“Would I choose it without the influence surrounding it?“

Not every decision requires an interrogation, but the larger the purchase – or the more uncertain we feel – the more useful these questions become.

Confidence Is Also Knowing What to Leave Behind

There is a quiet confidence in saying, “That’s beautiful, but it isn’t for me.”

We don’t talk about this enough.

We tend to think confidence means having the courage to wear something bold or different, and sometimes it does. But confidence can also look like restraint.

Walking away.
Not buying.
Not following.
Not explaining.
Knowing that someone else’s choice can be wonderful without becoming our choice.

The more secure we become in our own taste, the less threatening other people’s preferences become.

We don’t need everyone to agree with us, and we don’t need to agree with everyone else.

Choose What Deserves a Place

Perhaps intentional living isn’t really about having less; perhaps it’s about becoming more selective about what earns a place.

The things we choose begin to form the environment around us, so, choosing matters.

Not because every decision needs to be perfect. It won’t be. Our taste will change. Our lives will change. We will occasionally buy the wrong thing and wonder what on earth we were thinking.

That’s part of developing discernment.

But, with attention, we become better at recognising what genuinely belongs.